[00:00:01] Speaker A: Alas, the improvised works of William Shakespeare
[00:00:08] Speaker B: in this episode. Cast. We have it. P.J. nally, Ross Neal, Maria Nally and Drew Robinson.
[00:00:18] Speaker A: I'd rather. I don't want to be at the airport three hours early, but I won't be there early and feel like I've got 10 minutes at the gate. I can go get a coffee. I can.
I can use the bathroom. I can get coffee, maybe a breakfast sandwich if it's available.
It's the better way to be, in my opinion.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: I don't like the environment of an airport.
I just. Even with all the comfy seats now and the not good, but improved food, Even the new LaGuardia can't do it. The only place I could do is the old marine terminal at laguardia and it is still there. It is an art deco building from like the 30s and it is like its own airport. And it is beautiful because the longest security line I ever saw there was seven people. Oh, wow. And you just cruise through and there's free newspapers, there's a bar, there's comfy chairs with outlets that work. And it was just wonderful. Delta had a flight every hour and you could switch for free. So if you got there an hour early and there was a seat, you could just get on another flight.
[00:01:22] Speaker C: That's beautiful. Especially like in a post 911 world that's such a rarity that I feel like used to be more common.
[00:01:30] Speaker D: It's breeze on.
[00:01:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like uncrowded, small, uncrowded airport. Breeze on. Take whatever flight is next. There's usually seats.
[00:01:40] Speaker D: I think I've. I think I've got a bead on an intro here.
[00:01:44] Speaker C: Go for it.
[00:01:47] Speaker D: Prince Avis, the disfavored son of the Kingdom of LaGuardia, resented his paltry assignment to rule over the outer lands of Arras Port.
[00:01:59] Speaker B: Upon these outer lands were few citizens, where even the thrivingest market square had but a passing number of folk.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: When the townsfolk sought the sleepy subtlety of their lived lives, there were some amongst them, Prince Saevis included, who sought for more fulfilling tract filled days, cities bustling with people, a line of five, maybe six persons.
[00:02:28] Speaker C: Fortunately for Prince Avis, as well as the rest of the townfolk, they could come and go as they please through one very small port with one employee who worked there every day, handing free newspapers out to the townspeople, hoping that people would take the information and read up on the events of current.
[00:02:51] Speaker B: The man, as old as towns themselves, crusty by the ocean breeze, found himself alone for 90 years, wishing perhaps no more for the last five of his life.
[00:03:08] Speaker A: Within the bounds of this play, we shall find a prince, discover an enterprise. A prince Avis, discover an enterprise if thou wilt to make his sleepy town more lively.
[00:03:20] Speaker C: For as there is one port where those may go, there is also the same port where newcomers may arrive.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: Newcomers, newcomers. O please, do not you wince. Newcomers, newcomers, Come to parties of the Prince.
[00:03:38] Speaker C: Newcomers, newcomers, customs you must use.
Newcomers, newcomers, please read the news. Newcomers, newcomers, please help us survive. Newcomers, newcomers. And bring the party vibes.
[00:03:59] Speaker A: I pray thee, Borachio, why are these town criers not bringing these persons to my fence?
[00:04:05] Speaker D: Oh, Prince Avis, you know these young folk, they. They can't go to a fete. They can't go to a feast. All they can do now is read the paper for news from a more exciting land. How could you expect them to go to a dull barn party here? Pardon my poor words about your kingdom, my lord, when they could read of all night galas at the Met Feroshu.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: Thou art smite, man.
And were it not so, I twould strike you down, as it were. Ooh, no. Don't make that noise.
As thy Lord, I command thee not again. I thank thee, thank thee for thy pains wherein I too seek these large parties. The barn wherein the Fetts are held is the largest building that we have, I believe. These newcomers, I brought these criers in to summon builders, to summon people to make this town more lively.
Thou art here day in and day out for 90 years.
[00:05:05] Speaker D: Yes.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Thou hast seen the people come in. Thou approves those who enter my kingdom?
[00:05:10] Speaker D: Ay, that be. The tradition of my custom is to provide custom to these new traditions.
But I don't know if criers could really bring in the new coin and new faces. Although I do like hearing their voices.
[00:05:26] Speaker A: Thou dost hit upon an idea. Thy proclamations do make me sad. These criers do make me somewhat frustrated with their lack of understanding. But they do spark an idea.
Thou with thy customs, these criers with the proclamations. May we not turn the customs into some kind of form for vetting people to come and build a new.
A new palace. A new palace where may hold a ball. A castle with a ballroom. A room dedicated to Fetts.
[00:05:55] Speaker D: Yes. If you. If you pass through this port with a strong business proposal, attacks. I shall lift away from you. You shall not have to go through customs at all if you bring in sophistication.
[00:06:09] Speaker A: Thou art the finest mind of thy age. Though thy face be weathered, Prince Aphas, though thy back be bent, oh, thou art the wisest that I may know.
Prithee, let us find a way to make these proclaimers seek these persons. Let us make the lands of Avis into something that we may have sought out throughout. Not some dollar rental. If thou wilt, away with me. Come, Borachio.
[00:06:34] Speaker D: I can't come. I guard the port. But away with you. I agree.
[00:06:40] Speaker C: Vincent.
Vincent.
Vincent, wake up.
[00:06:46] Speaker B: I'm away.
[00:06:48] Speaker C: Vincent. We're pulling into the port from the land of Idyllwild. We are now pulling into the port of Laguardia. And I'm bringing with me nothing but sophistication, Vincent.
[00:06:57] Speaker B: All the way from England to Italy.
[00:07:01] Speaker C: Thank you very much. All the way from Idyllwild, England, to Laguardia, Italy, and here we are.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: Oh, beautiful small town be this.
[00:07:13] Speaker C: Yes, it'd be so thrilling for me, such a sophisticated socialite, to dawn upon this sleepy little town, be among the peasants and remind myself that I be but more exciting than all of they.
[00:07:27] Speaker D: Do you need a shuttle?
[00:07:30] Speaker C: Oh, there's somebody in the distance.
[00:07:32] Speaker D: Good sir, I see you new faces to the airport. Has thou just landed upon our lands of Avis?
[00:07:40] Speaker C: Yes, yes, of course. Thou has just pulled in. And my.
My. My companion Vincent and I do need a shuttle.
[00:07:47] Speaker D: Oh, right away, my lady. The finest shuttle. I'll go grab Harrison and his horses.
[00:07:54] Speaker B: I thank you.
Such shuttles are innovative. In the year 1651, I remember in the year 1550, we had not shuttles of such sophistication.
The wheels barely rounded, the horses barely horses.
Their manes looking more like scruffs of dogs.
Perhaps dogs they were.
[00:08:28] Speaker C: That's very good. That's very good, yes. This be my companion, Vincent. And I be the socialite from Idyllwild, England. Priscilla.
[00:08:37] Speaker D: Priscilla and Vincent. I'll make sure your names are on the marquee of our finest one horse cart.
[00:08:45] Speaker C: Oh, that's so darling. That a one horse cart be the finest that you have, for I come from a large town.
[00:08:53] Speaker D: Oh, be sure to defart the horse for you, my lady.
[00:08:56] Speaker C: I'm sorry, did you say defart the horse?
[00:08:58] Speaker D: Would you rather the fart still be in him when he come by?
[00:09:03] Speaker C: No, no, I'd rather. I would rather the fox be out. Yes.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: My father was lost to a farting.
Twas the greatest of tragedies. A boy just was I.
Horses were new.
Feeding them beans was wrong, we knew not. Beans was all we had.
The farting hit my father with such force he disintegrated on the spot.
We buried his ashes right there. And ever since then, horses come and eat the grass that grows above. For it was from horse that he died, from their stench and belly that his life was gone.
[00:09:53] Speaker D: This be the exciting news that Prince Avis was looking for.
These newcomers to town could really make the fat into a fati.
[00:10:03] Speaker B: Aye. Aye. I wish to see the greatest historical markers of this town for olden days. I love for olden days, Papa had not been farted from this world.
[00:10:18] Speaker D: Harrison. Harrison, hurry up with the horse, please. Show these two socialites around all the historical markers of town. Convince them they ought to stay to bring in new news and vital blood to this dying corpus of our town.
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Well, aye, Borachio, Looking at these two, I think half of this pair may indeed be vital. The other half.
The other half may rival thee for the wisdom that he holds.
Thou shouldst travel with him, Borachio, wherein thou too mayest enjoy some conversatin.
[00:10:56] Speaker D: An octogenarian and a nonagenarian together. What could possibly we have in common?
[00:11:03] Speaker C: This is so strange.
I pray thee all. I'm so used to being the center of attention.
I must admit I am not used to my companion, Vincent, being the one who is, shall I say, desired.
[00:11:17] Speaker B: Oh, poor Vincent, always in shadow.
Oh, poor Vincent. Van Gogh shall die forgotten.
Oh, woe is me.
[00:11:31] Speaker C: All right.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: I shall doodle a sad scene upon this time.
[00:11:40] Speaker C: I. I guess I'll. I'll just open the carrot. I. I shall open the carriage door myself.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Oh, I apologize. Here in this town, wherein some may read, those who can tell stories and seem to have learned lives are featured amongst the best. They are thought to be higher than us.
The wisest.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: How quaint.
[00:12:01] Speaker A: Are you insulting us?
[00:12:02] Speaker C: Oh, never. Oh, I wouldn't. I would never insult a peasant.
[00:12:07] Speaker A: See, when you say it like that, it feels like at the very least, an undercutting word.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: You and both of your teeth have a lovely smile.
[00:12:18] Speaker A: Wherein we may be yokels, we are not dumb.
We may not be clever, we may not be witty, we may not have repartee.
That might be the longest word I know.
[00:12:29] Speaker C: Very well. I pray thee, you shall show me and my companion Vincent all that laguardia Italy has to offer.
[00:12:35] Speaker B: I, a Priscilla, be a most prickly princess cross her knot, for she has banished men greater than thee to the
[00:12:50] Speaker C: scrubs of England without hesitation.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: I be her closest friend, for we do share such tea together.
[00:13:01] Speaker C: And friends we be, for Vincent does indeed have the best stories.
[00:13:05] Speaker A: I pray thee, shall we ride along in my cart and Vincent will regale us with these stories, Miss Priscilla, thou mayest, if thou may, control thy tongue.
Follow suit.
No more insults, please, miss.
[00:13:21] Speaker C: My tongue is as controlled as my wits and my thought.
[00:13:24] Speaker A: That seems to track, Miss. Hi O. Silver.
[00:13:29] Speaker B: I remember when Silver was infernal.
[00:13:36] Speaker D: I think he might need a winding or something. Some sort of pendulums re levered. I don't know what mechanism he goes by.
[00:13:44] Speaker C: Oh, yes, of course.
[00:13:48] Speaker B: And it was a golden age. But then silver came, and silver became pound sterling, the currency of England.
[00:14:00] Speaker C: I pray thee, listen to the story. It be but wonderful, My lady.
[00:14:04] Speaker D: My Vincent, I am enwrapped.
And how apropos. For nearest the town treasury we do be here in the treasury is where we keep all of the money at quaintcoin local to LaGuardia. The subway token.
[00:14:21] Speaker C: Ah, the subway token. Why, it be but such a. Such a drab shade of bronze.
[00:14:29] Speaker D: Gets where you need to go. I'll say that for it. Moving on.
[00:14:35] Speaker C: What a quaint little village you do have here.
[00:14:38] Speaker A: I pray thee, pass him by. Just now, some voice calling out, decrying this my town of LaGuardia. I, Prince Avis. You there, lad, lad, upon the street.
[00:14:50] Speaker C: Yes.
[00:14:51] Speaker A: Didst thou spy someone in that cart?
[00:14:54] Speaker B: Ay, from vantage point, lo, for I am short. I do see through the windows of the cart.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: Pray thee, tell me more.
Expound upon that idea.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Well, for my height be lower than yours, my perspective be different.
The windows sit low upon the cab, for from your vantage point, only ceiling you can see. But from mine lower down, I shall peek and I shall see them. Oh, so nice in carriage. I wish a carriage for me, but I be but a boy. Boys have not care carriages.
Boys have little wheelbarrows for One boy plays horse and one boy plays person.
[00:15:42] Speaker D: And over there on the left, it's the boy whose voice goes from high to low and low to high. And I, Prince Avis.
[00:15:52] Speaker C: Oh, a prince.
[00:15:54] Speaker D: You may have thought our town quaint before, but he's quite the eligible baccort.
[00:16:02] Speaker A: I pray thee, boy, thy story hast entertained me thus. What didst thou spy within the carriage? Thou hast talked much of how thou sought within the carriage. Thou hast not told me what thou hast seen within the carriage.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: Oh, yes, I do see in the carriage. A man of 90 years, perhaps.
Perhaps 80 something.
And a princess.
English.
A prickly one. O, what a dress she wears.
[00:16:34] Speaker A: Thy voice may have many hurts wherein thou mayest define my ears, but I am quite intrigued.
Thou sought the octogenarian. Thou saw the octogenarian arborachio of the court?
[00:16:47] Speaker B: Ay, and another too. For this budget is for two, not one in this carriage.
[00:16:55] Speaker A: I pray thee, lad, here are two tokens. Run thee hence and have Verachio bring the carriage back here. We shall dazzle these newcomers. A princess, you say? We shall dazzle this newcomer, the princess and her nonagenarian friend, with our bank within these subway tokens.
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Aye, thank you, good sir. I shall go and fetch a treat first.
[00:17:19] Speaker C: Ah, why, yes, Borachio.
This. Yes, this merchant's area, it is so quaint and so small.
It makes so much sense that nothing here is over 5 pence. For how could anyone in your quaint little town afford something such as that?
[00:17:34] Speaker D: I. If you just turn your nose up at a 5 below, we might have to change its name to a 5 above.
I could be witty, just like the big city.
What's that?
The sounds of a small lad running up to this one horse cart.
His little flute.
Harrison, stop the horse.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: Oh. Whoa. Silver.
[00:18:05] Speaker C: A local boy who plays a little local flute. Why, Vincent, didn't you play a flute when you were a little boy?
[00:18:11] Speaker B: I did.
The flute was a reed. I poked holes in the reed of the Nile where Moses as a babe was floated down.
O Moses. Poor Moses. 700 years had he, but not enough.
Ah, to be a Moses and a half. To have a thousand fifty years would be my joy.
[00:18:39] Speaker D: The cutting edge stories that passed through your lips could sustain me forever.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: Pure Vincent and Noah and a flood.
O, shall you hear this one? All in England have heard these stories. But I have greatest joy being in place where they be unknown.
[00:18:59] Speaker A: I pray thee, Signor Borachio, may I take the aside hence?
[00:19:02] Speaker D: Okay, Clim.
I'm bad at getting out of these high carts. One moment.
[00:19:07] Speaker C: Oh, excuse me.
No, excuse me. My goodness.
[00:19:12] Speaker A: All right, my octogenarian friend. That thou hast in thy voice sparked notes, if I may attest of romance for this nonagenarian, for Signor Van Gogh.
[00:19:25] Speaker D: You think such a learned and hot topic such as he would cast his gaze upon a septuagenarian such as me?
[00:19:34] Speaker A: My lord, I knowest not, but wherein thou hast spoken, thou hast seen the flames of Cupid stoked within thy breast.
Thou art a man in love. Look upon thy eyes. Thou canst not see what I have seen, but thy spirit is alight with the light of love.
[00:19:51] Speaker D: I should look at mine own eyes?
[00:19:54] Speaker A: Ay, thou shouldst take thy eyes and within thy lover's visage see thy love reflected. Thou needs must enjoy the sound, the dulcet tones of thy Nonagenarian Van Gogh. The thou shalt find within. It seems to me a humble carriage driver with a solo horse.
Thou mayest find that most sought after thing of all.
[00:20:15] Speaker D: Maybe at the fete tonight I could ask to be the top of his
[00:20:21] Speaker A: dance card, My lord. Thou shouldst try and top that man, if thou wilt.
[00:20:26] Speaker C: Vinnie. Vinnie. While we are stopped, I must tell you that I do think that this.
This octogenarian, this septuagenarian that we are with.
[00:20:37] Speaker A: Think I said both.
[00:20:38] Speaker B: Keeps changing. It does.
[00:20:39] Speaker C: It keeps changing. It does. But I think that he might be a good match for you.
[00:20:43] Speaker B: Oh, a match. A match like fire. A match, remember? Before matches.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Yes, of course. You tell me. Many times.
[00:20:54] Speaker B: Oh, we had so many sticks rubbed together, and then we made fire.
[00:21:01] Speaker D: Toot, toot, toot, toot, toot.
Fair visitors from another land, I have news to give you.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: Oh, it be but the befluted little
[00:21:12] Speaker D: boy, Prince Avis would like to extend his personal invitation to you both.
[00:21:20] Speaker C: Little boy, you seem very out of breath.
[00:21:22] Speaker D: I ran for so long.
There only be one line road in this town, but it winds only one road that be.
[00:21:33] Speaker C: But so quaint. But we are invited to the fete tonight.
[00:21:37] Speaker D: Not just the fet, but a VIP experience for thee and thine.
[00:21:43] Speaker C: Ah, a VIP experience.
[00:21:45] Speaker B: Shall we go to the Prince's exclusive lounge?
We have cards for access here.
[00:21:54] Speaker D: It's plated with our finest currency.
Subway coin.
It's heavy.
[00:22:03] Speaker B: Oh, my.
[00:22:05] Speaker C: This do be but a very heavy card.
[00:22:07] Speaker D: Someday we'll figure out silver.
[00:22:11] Speaker B: Oh, I remember when we figured out silver.
Twas a glorious day. The pound was born. And England itself self is transformed.
[00:22:23] Speaker D: Speaking of more currency, dost thou hast a tip for me?
[00:22:28] Speaker B: Ay, here I go. Three shillings and a bird.
[00:22:35] Speaker C: Three shillings and a bird is probably a lot for such a small town peasant boy as thee.
[00:22:41] Speaker D: Aye, I'll probably be killed for this just on the way back. Hopefully I can keep this close to to my chest.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: Hey, that kid's got a bird. Let's get him.
[00:22:51] Speaker D: Get the bird.
[00:22:53] Speaker B: Oh, wow, he's. I'm confused by the flute. Let's go. Let's still chase him.
[00:23:00] Speaker C: Well, my Vincent, that might be but the most exciting day that that little boy has ever had. And it all be because of us.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Ah, such joy. And such a handsome old man in our carriage. We shall find greater joys yet tonight at the fete.
[00:23:17] Speaker C: Yes, of course. And the fete to which we shall go.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: Ay, away us to the fete.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: Harrison.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: I miss Priscilla.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: Vincent and I have just Been invited to the fete this evening. The Prince's fete.
[00:23:33] Speaker A: Thou hast the Italian Express cards.
[00:23:35] Speaker C: Yes, of course.
[00:23:36] Speaker A: That allow premium access to lounges.
[00:23:39] Speaker C: Yes, the very heavy ones.
[00:23:41] Speaker A: Ay, m'. Lady. Silver and I will carry thee as quick as we may. Fast as the wind. Hi O Silver.
[00:23:53] Speaker D: We got to the VIP lounge of Prince Avis.
[00:23:59] Speaker C: Vine Kingdom likely does not have anything suitable for me to wear. So fortunately I had packed in my luggage my own ball gown from Idyllwild.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: England now art.
Of all the women I have met in this fair kingdom of laguardia, the kingdom which I own, I have met the royals of Newark. I have met the women. The Empress of Kennedy. Of Kennedy. I have met the most fantastic, fantastic ruler, the Princess of Chicago.
But thou art the jewel Amongst all the women that I have seen. Thou shine with thy disdain for this place.
[00:24:43] Speaker C: Well, thou dost get around, doesn't thee?
[00:24:46] Speaker A: I pray thee, insult me again.
Words from thy lips wherein I feel some shame from where I am from make me feel alive.
[00:24:56] Speaker C: That wouldst be easy. For as thou has met the royals of Newark, the royals of Kennedy and the royals of Chicago, I hath met the midways. I hath met the Dulls, who were very boring, all of which were terribly dull.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Thou art from the land of Heathrow.
Thou art so well traveled. I understand thy disdain. I pray thee.
The fire that thou feelest, the way that thou art castigating me. Take that energy, join with me.
Let us remake this town of Laguardia. It's old and beaten down, has seen many a days as of now, all the people stay shut inside. Has spent one, maybe two years of people shuffling about with masks upon their faces keeping themselves sequestered. I pray thee, help me. Call upon thy friends in England. Let us remake LaGuardia. Glow up if thou wilt.
[00:25:57] Speaker C: Oh, thou want' st me to stay, I pray thee.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: It's a small one horse town but with thy help, the power the horsepower of this town may fly forth.
[00:26:09] Speaker C: Why I be but Princess Priscilla Heathrow I could never stay in a one horse town.
Despite thine eyes sparkling like a starry night despite thine smile bright like a lilac oh, I couldst never stay In a one horse town.
[00:26:30] Speaker A: Thou needs must not stay laguardia mayst with thy help, with thy intervention become a hub of travel international.
We can flee the lands of Italy, we can see the world. Go forth to France, Go forth to thy hometown of London. Go forth to Munich. There are lands beyond which wherein we may be sought. We may find New places for thee to insult me, to seek out new architectures, new ways to build a better barn.
[00:26:58] Speaker C: Why, Prince Avis, art thou suggesting that we might run away?
[00:27:02] Speaker A: I believe we should still make a home somewhere. We are both royalty. Thou art the royalty of Heathrow. I am the royalty of LaGuardia. We needs must set some form of a ruler in our stead. My man Borachio is very old, but he is very well liked within the town. He meets every person who comes through this town. I'm shocked I haven't seen him with you tonight. But we may appoint him as a means to watch the town in our stead.
[00:27:31] Speaker C: And mine. Vincent could watch the town in my stead, I pray thee.
[00:27:36] Speaker A: There's my man across the way.
[00:27:37] Speaker C: Oh, and I pray thee with them there be mine.
Oh, yes. For this is a match I was hoping I would see made.
[00:27:45] Speaker D: And so that's how Prince Avis kink shamed me so. If he were to suddenly start being into being shamed, it would feel like a massive betrayal.
[00:27:55] Speaker B: Oh, kinks be the worst thing.
A kink was found in the intestine of the horse that farted. My father say more.
Well, without such a kink, the flatulence would have merely blown his hair back.
[00:28:14] Speaker D: Ay me.
[00:28:16] Speaker B: But with the kink, it built and built and built like a great garden hose. That swelling, swelling, swelling. The arse of the horse grew to six times its normal size.
And they shamed such horse for this kink. So such horse did not let it go until it was too late and it burst forth. If you leave a kink ashamed, the kink shall burst forth with only greater force.
[00:28:46] Speaker D: Like a grape in the sea.
[00:28:48] Speaker B: Like a grape in the sun. May I say, your skin be like a grape in the sun.
[00:28:55] Speaker D: Vincent. Every utterance, every bowel breath that passes through your lips does turn my heart tighter and tighter. Like a spring. Like a coil. Like a kink.
[00:29:09] Speaker B: Like a kink.
[00:29:17] Speaker D: Small child whose voice keeps going up and down and who carries the flute. Hello.
[00:29:22] Speaker C: I am but the small boy. I am here to report to you this message from the Prince and the Princess. They would like you both to know that they are running away. They are going to come back, of course. But they needs you to watch over the town of LaGuardia. And they needs you, Vincent, to watch over the town of Heathrow.
Do, do, do do do do do
[00:29:48] Speaker B: do do do do, do.
[00:29:50] Speaker C: Now listen to my flute song.
I've just learned hot cross buns.
[00:29:54] Speaker B: At school, you were just playing much more complicated tunes than Hot Cross Buns. Why now? Why now present Hot Cross Buns when such other tunes be better and more complex.
[00:30:08] Speaker D: Thou like a polyphon.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Oh, I pray thee, Borachio, do not, do not make I am the solo rental carriage in this town. Thou thinks I do not have access to the Italian Express lounge? I has been thou wingman throughout the entire evening I have sat in that corner listening to this man discuss the way his father was killed by.
I pray thee, confess thy father feelings. These rulers wish thee both to be regents in their stead. If thy care for each other may supersede this writ of man, thou mayest escape as well. Heathrow is not our problem. We are a town of laguardians.
[00:30:58] Speaker C: Do, do, do.
[00:31:03] Speaker A: That is Hot Cross Buns. Very well done. Thou took' st thou a moment to remember thy fingering, didst thou not, young lad?
[00:31:10] Speaker B: One a penny, two a penny Hard Cross buns. Oh, the buns of that horse were so hot with friction and I know
[00:31:22] Speaker D: not what a penny is. Only a subway coin.
[00:31:25] Speaker B: I shall teach you the ways of pennies. For returning to Heathrow would be such a sad endeavor after having met penny thine eyes.
[00:31:37] Speaker D: Ay, then stay with me here. And these eyes shall look upon you in love's visage. I heard earlier today that an eye could look if I could only look at mine eyes the way that I look at I. Oh, there's a word
[00:31:59] Speaker B: in my language, my native tongue, my lingua franca. Or shall you say lingua Anglica? For from England am I.
[00:32:10] Speaker D: Say it, I beg thee.
[00:32:11] Speaker B: The word is I.
It means yes.
[00:32:18] Speaker D: Are you asking me?
Because my answer be I, I, I, I, I.
[00:32:26] Speaker B: Eye to eye we see see the sea separating our two towns. Our towns be be buns hot as cross c Cross the sea separating our towns which be separated be the buns apart cross sea.
[00:32:49] Speaker D: And from that moment on, the town of laguardia had two new kings.
Princess Priscilla became known as Priscilla the Deserter, for she left with the Prince Avis Hymn of the Flighty and Missing England.
[00:33:10] Speaker B: So much the old man of England. Vincent decided he must. He must bring it to LaGuardia in some way.
And from his great memory and his diminished vision, he began painting. Painting the scenes he saw be they from an unsteady hand, looked not normal and realistic as the masters had painted before, and yet all the more beautiful. He painted a sky attempting straight lines only and realistic color. And yet swirls and sun appeared. And the people called it great. They came from near and far to see the work of Vincent at LaGuardia.
[00:33:59] Speaker A: Within these bounds of Borachio's customs, we have seen a hatred for their native lands flower forth from within royalty and a love between those of either septo or octogenarian years and nonagenarian years. Vincent Van Gogh and Cingo Borachio did decline the regency and leave it instead not to Harrison, but to Silver the horse to honor Van Gogh's father.
[00:34:28] Speaker C: Many travelers came from far and wide to see Silver to see Van Gogh's paintings. And with all of these travelers and all of these exciting events happening, Borachio had many exciting things to print in the news, which every traveler took and read.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: And that's our show.
[00:34:52] Speaker D: I was hoping that horse would talk.
You just heard Maria Nally as Princess Priscilla and the be fluted little boy, Ross Neil as Prince Avis and Harrison the horse groomer P.J. nally who was our co producer and played Vincent Van Gogh and a be fluted little boy and Drew Robinson who is our co producer, sound designer and played Borachio and a befluted little boy. If you liked this, check us out on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube as Alas Improv. We don't have very many posts yet, but we'd love for you to be ready for when we do. If you want to get in touch, email
[email protected] Alas, the improvised Works of William Shakespeare is a hell yeah, probably production.
